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It's always within us waiting for our return, that place in your heart: home. Let me explain.
Home.
I’ve struggled with this word for most of my life. Is it a place you belong or maybe it’s your family? For me, family has always been in different parts of the country. Growing up I shuffled between two parents who lived across the country and spent a large portion of my childhood on an airplane. I went to school in Oklahoma but never felt that I belonged, and then I spent all school breaks in California. That is where I felt myself in the truest form. But the conflict continued because my friends were in a different city, and only some of my family was in that state but not all of them. I felt torn on how to feel and what to think. Can your heart belong to more than one place? Can you identify with more than one place?
Then, after graduating from school, I moved to New York City and created my own home, found my own family. I felt the most at peace but only for a few years. I was, in that time, so perfectly content with where I was (greatest city in the world!) surrounded by the loving, supportive, inspiring friends I CHOSE, who became like family. But when people would ask where are you from – how could I answer? It’s never just a one word (insert city here). There’s a complicated reason to why I’m from many places, so that struggle was still there. In a matter of one month so much happened that the Universe was telling me that my time in NYC had come to an end. So I decided to leave the country! When life implodes and you need to find some major head space and want to gain a better understanding of yourself, where else would you go but to yoga teacher training?! And off I departed….to Bali.
I follow my heart and listen to my intuition, for that guides me home.
Bali took me in when I needed her the most. She is a mother. She nourishes and comforts while also giving courage to overcome. And eventually rebirths you into this world. Going to Bali was an awakening, a new start.
This was the beginning. I knew after that I would never be the same.
And while I had absolutely no plans to actually teach yoga, the entire journey into my own deep being was life changing. During the month long process, we talked about the art of letting go. Letting go of what you identify with and letting go of people or bad habits or so many other things that you think makes you who you truly are. So I did. I let it all go. I started over in my new beginning. I discovered that not one place was my identity, and that was okay.
Now, I find myself traveling around the world. I realize that there could be many meanings for home. I needed to begin in Bali for this discovery to resonate in me, that home is where the heart is. For some, home could reside in one person. Perhaps it’s in a community of people, your tribe if you will. And quite possibly that could be a digital space. I mean, we do live in 2018. Or maybe for some it’s a geographical location, somewhere in the world that makes you feel that you belong. I’m on the complete opposite side of the world of where I’m from, and I have a firm belief that home is quite simply where I feel my best. I am completely at home right where I am. With that in mind, I follow my heart and listen to my intuition. For that guides me home.